Raymond

Raymond is the God Almighty of everything. He created the entire Universe in 3 seconds with a zippo and a bottle of "Ajax" oven cleaner. We do not know how these items were able to exist before existence itself, but he did it somehow.

Once when someone asked him how he made the universe, Raymond calmly got out a breifcase, walked into a nearby building, opened the briefcase (which happened to contain a semi-automatic sniper rifle) put the rifle together. He loaded the rifle, pointed it at the stupid man, and blew his brains all over the pavement. He then used a toothbrush and an orange to clean the rifle. Before saying "Raymond.. AWAY!" and flying away.

Raymond can also travel incredibly quickly. The way he does this is by moving the entire universe much faster in his direction, thereby allowing him to travel somewhere before time does.

Raymond asked me to write this. :)